I Never Knew What I Had Until It Was Gone
by The Orgasmic Uke
Summary: Naruto reflects about his friendship with Gaara after Gaara is killed. A woman shows up claiming that she can bring Gaara back. NarutoXGaara Yaoi Oneshot


I got this idea from a dream I had and I just had to put it down on paper. I really hope you guys like it! Enjoy! Oh... and this is kinda different then how Gaara actually died… and I don't know the name of the woman who brought him back so I'm making it up. Don't review and say I have it wrong. This is how I want it to happen. Ok? Thanks!

* * *

You know how they say you never know what you have until it's gone? I finally understand that now. It's funny though. Standing here… staring at his lifeless body. You never would have guessed that he would have meant so much to me. We were friends once. We were the only ones who understood each other. Just like me, he knows what it's like to be alone even when you're surrounded by people. Like me, he knows what it's like to have everyone hate you for something that you can't even control. Gaara means everything to me. But now he lies lifeless before me. He couldn't live without Shukaku. I guess I'm the same. Without Kyuubi I'd die.

Temari bends down next to her brother. Her trembling hand touches his cheek. "G-Gaara." She manages to say before she breaks down completely. Kankuro bends down next to her and holds her gently to him. So they do care. I always knew they did. If only Gaara knew that before he died. I feel a tug at my heart as her sobs continue to fill the air. He's gone. My eyes widen in realization. He's really gone.

"N-Naruto?" I glance beside me. Sakura stares at me, worried and scared at the same time. I guess it is odd form me to not act so hyper. I am acting different. But I have every right to.

"I'm fine." I look away from her to his body. Kankuro took Temari away. I take this chance to go up to him. I get down on my knees beside him. His face is paler then normal. His fiery red hair lays flat against his forehead. His eyes that are normally so full of life when we're alone are now dead. I hate it. I don't like him. Not like this. I reach down and brush his cheek with my thumb. Another tug at my heart. I try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

7 years ago he was so different. Cold, deadly. But… he was so full of life. So soft and kind. Even if it was only when we were alone. The Kazekage is dead. Suna is not going to like this too much. He doesn't deserve to die.

"Naruto." I feel a hand on my shoulder. I glance next to me. Sasuke kneels next to me, staring at Gaara's body.

"S-Sasuke." My voice isn't holding up to well.

He tears his eyes away form Gaara's body and meets my eyes. His eyes hold remorse. He removes his hand from my shoulder and places it against my cheek. The warmth is comforting as he whips away the tear that fell from my eye. "I'm sorry." He says softly.

"It's not your fault." My eyes are locked with his. His eyes are so full of love. My heart aches and I look away. **_He's not mine anymore…_** I convince myself. I jerk my head away from his hand. His hand lands by his side, defeated. "It seems now I have a reason to kill your brother." I meet his eyes with as much strength as I can gather. He stares at me with slightly wide eyes. "He killed the one person who meant more to me then anyone. Itachi will die." Sasuke nods but says nothing. I turn my attention back to Gaara's body. I will avenge you Gaara. If it's the last thing I do. That's a promise.

"Naruto." I look up and see Kankuro standing with Temari. "We should take him back to Suna."

I nod in agreement. I stand along with Sasuke. "Lord Hokage." I look next to me and there stands a slightly frightened Sakura. "We need to get back to Konoha."

I narrow my eyes at her. "I'm not leaving him."

"But-"

"I said I'm staying."

She nods, obviously scared of the way I'm acting. I suppose it is very unlike me to be so… well… I don't know what… but even I know I'm acting different.

* * *

"What the hell are you talking about!" I stick my head out from Gaara's room as I hear Kankuro's voice. I glance back at Gaara on his bed. Yea… he's not going anywhere. I rub my eyes and make sure I got ride of all the tears from my eyes. Yea.. I've been doing a lot of crying lately. I leave him and walk downstairs. "I swear woman, if you're lying to me-"

"I wouldn't dear do such a thing." An older woman stands in front of Kankuro. She's much smaller then him. I stop at the base of the stairs and watch.

"How do we know we can trust you?" I jump slightly when I realize that Temari's right beside me. How'd she do that?

The woman notices me and smiles. "Lord Hokage." Kankuro turns around and notices me as well.

"What's going on here?"

Kankuro glares at the woman. "This is Yokasha. She's the one who sealed Shukaku in Gaara. Now she says she can bring Gaara back to life." Kankuro obviously doesn't believe the woman.

I stare at her for a moment. She's old alright. Very old. But her eyes… hold a sort of regret. So she feels guilty for what she did to Gaara and wants to make up for it. I cross my arms over my chest and lean back against the wall. "What's there to lose?" All three stare at me. "If she _can_ bring him back that's wonderful. If not then nothing's changed." I say, secretly hoping she can bring him back.

"Blondie does have a point." Temari says. Blondie's the nickname she's created for me since we met. Doesn't make much sense since she's blonde to. But I don't complain. She looks at Kankuro hopefully.

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Fine." He looks at Yokasha. "You can try. But I swear if anything happens that-"

"I know." She smiles at him. "Thanks you. Now where can I find him?"

"This way." Temari says, heading up the stairs.

"Thank you." Yokasha follows her. Just when Kankuro and I go to follow she turns back around and faces us. "You boys stay down here." Then she disappears up the stairs.

Was it a good idea to let her go? What if she does something to Gaara's body? "Naruto?" I turn around and look at Kankuro. "Are you sure about this? What if it doesn't work?"

"I… Well… now I'm starting to think about what she could do…" I sigh and shrug. "But what's there to loose? There's no harm in trying."

Kankuro nods and smiles at me. "You know… this is the most time you've spent here with Gaara. To bad he's not alive to notice it."

"Yea…"

"Being Hokage must be hard… being Kazekage was hard on Gaara. But…He did love it."

I smile sadly. "Yea. You're right though… I should have spent more time with him…"

"I'm sure he forgives you."

"I hope so…"

Both our heads snap up when we hear a scream from upstairs. We both run up the stairs and to Gaara's room. We enter to find Temari on the floor, crying. Her head is in her hands. Kankuro runs over to her to see if she's hurt. But she's fine. Yokasha is gone though. No sign of her. "Gaara!" I run over to him. He's glowing. A blue light surrounds his body. Then it disappears and silence enters the room. I can only hear Temari's sobs.

"What happened?" Kankuro asks his sister.

"S-she… D-died."

"What?"

"She gave her life to Gaara." Temari continues to cry.

But… He's still- "He moved." I say. His hand twitched. Suddenly, Gaara's eyes snap open and he sits up quickly. I jump back in surprise. Gaara's eyes franticly search his surroundings. His movements calm down when he realizes where he is. His eyes stop on me. "G-Gaara? Y-You're alive?"

He looks down at himself. He brings his hand up and places it over his heart. Then he looks up at me. "I-I am." His eyes show how surprised he is. He looks around the room before his eyes close and he falls back onto the bed.

"Gaara!" My eyes widen and I grab his wrist. I for a pulse. I sigh in relief when I find one. "He must be tired." I put his wrist down then pull the covers over his frail body. "But… wait… Gaara can sleep now?"

"Shukaku's no longer in him." I glance next to me. Kankuro stands there with a smile on his face. "He hasn't slept in a very long time. He'll be out for a while."

"Can he still control sand?"

"I don't know…"

"I'll stay with him."

He nods at me. "Thought you would. Temari and I have to go tell Suna that their Kazekage is still alive."

"Right."

* * *

Watching him sleep is like watching an angel from heaven. I've never seen Gaara at peace like this before. I sit on the edge of his bed, facing him. Gaara's something else. He'd only smile around me and it would be just a small one. Hard to believe he's only 19 when he acts 40. Having all these responsibilities just given to him… It took a lot out of him. Kazekage is a big responsibility. I should know… being Hokage. Your village depends on you. And that's why I like it so much. I know that's why Gaara does too. He told me once…

_I sigh as I thump down onto Gaara's bed. "Damn… I need a vacation…"_

_Gaara stares at me form his desk in the corner of his room. "Why's that?"_

"_Being Hokage is hard… I knew it would be… but damn. I need a break."_

_He smiles slightly. "You don't get a break. You're the one that ran around saying you'd be Hokage one day. And now you are; so don't complain."_

_I sit up and stare at him. "I guess you're right. I love being Hokage… but it gets hard sometimes… guess that's what makes it so interesting." He nods as he starts writing again. "Gaara?"_

_He looks up. "Yea?"_

"_What do you like most about being Kazekage?"_

_A smile I've never seen before comes to his lips. "Without me this whole village will die. They need me and depend on me. When I was younger the whole village hated me for just being alive. Now they need me. I want to prove to them that I'm not a monster and that I do care about this village."_

_I stare at him a moment. His eyes widen and a light blush comes to his cheeks and nose. He looks down and starts writing again. "That's… awesome!" He looks up at me. "That's something I never thought about!"_

"_Yea…" He smiles sheepishly before returning to his work._

Gaara loves his village. And always will. Now matter how bad the treated him in the past. But… Akatsuki made Gaara's life so much harder. They couldn't get Kyuubi so they go after Shukaku. Which they got killing Gaara in the process. I still don't know what they plan to do with Shukaku. But Gaara's alive now. That I still do not understand. How is he alive again? It'll make sense someday. I lie down on my back next to Gaara and look up at the ceiling. Gaara's on his side facing me. One arm is under his head and the pillow.

Gaara always gives me this feeling. I can't describe exactly what it is. But I've never felt this before. My heart races at the thought of lying next to him. My heart races when I realize I am lying next to him. I can hear his breathing next to my ear. I feel a blush come to my cheeks. I use to get a feeling like this whenever I was with Sasuke. But it wasn't like this. This is much stronger. Sasuke choose Sakura over me. I can understand why. She can give him children… something he's always wanted. I can't give him that no matter how much I may want to. Gaara told me that if Sasuke truly loved me then he wouldn't have left me. It makes sense. Gaara always makes sense of things.

Gaara's always been able to tell me exactly what I've always wanted and needed to hear. I love him for that. My eyes widen when I realize I thought that. Love? Gaara? Me? I… I don't know.

"Mmm…" I snap my eyes to the side. Gaara's eyes open slowly. He blinks a few times then yawns. He notices me and stares at me. "Naruto? What are you doing here?"

"Well, I didn't want to leave you while you were sleeping."

He gives me a blank look. "How long have I been out?"

"2 days." His eyes widen as he stares at me. "How did you sleep?"

"I…Good. I guess." He lowers his eyes. "But… I have a question."

"Ok. What is it?"

He meets my eyes shyly. "Um… While I was asleep... I saw… Things…" A light blush comes to his cheeks.

I smile at how cute he looks. Cute? I did not just think that about Gaara. Well… he is really adorable. "Dreams. Those are dreams. Everyone has them." I turn on my side and face him.

His eyes show how relieved he is. "So it's normal?"

"Yup."

"Ok." He gives me a small smile. "I was a little worried."

I return the smile. What in the world could he have dreamed to make him so worried? "I'm glad you're ok. It's still hard to believe that you're alive. After seeing you so lifeless…I co-" I stop as Gaara places his hand against my cheek. I feel the wetness from my eyes as he brushes a few stray tears away. His eyes hold something that I can't grip.

"You cried?" I nod. He strokes my whiskered cheek with his thumb. "And you're crying now… for me…" He stares into my eyes intensely.

"For you." I conform. I bring my hand up and rest it atop Gaara's hand that's on my cheek. "Only you can make me feel this way, Gaara."

He leans in, closing the gap between us. His lips meet mine in a soft kiss. Without thinking I kiss him back. The kiss soon becomes more intense as my tongue dominates his mouth. Gaara lets out a slight moan which snaps us both back to reality. We pull apart blushing and panting. "Naruto… I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

I slide my arm around his waist and pull him to me so our chests touch. "Don't be sorry." I kiss the tip of his nose. "I love you Gaara."

He stares at me with side eyes. Suddenly, a huge grin graces his soft lips. "I love you Naruto." He kisses me again this time with so much passion and confidence. I can't help but love him more.

Gaara's mine and mine alone. He's changed over the past years. I changed him and he changed me. All for the better. We're in love and nothing or no one will every change that. Yea… I like thinking that way….

* * *

That's it! What do you think? Did you like it? I had fun writing this… Please review! I want to know what you guys thought! Oh and I'm almost done with the next part of scars can heal. I got enough reviews so when I'm done writing it I'll put it up! Promise! But please do review this one! It means a lot to me! Thanks! 

-Shinza-


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